story that won't publish on polyvore. stupid.

I missed you for so long
that being with you is like
you've been suffocated for so long,
but /you/ are the fresh air I've been needing
to survive.
. . . . .
"Manda, you and Nick can't sleep in the same bed," Kevin informed us in his father-like voice when Nick climbed into my bed, looking innocently up at Kevin. I smiled naturally until I frowned at Kevin, looking similar to an average teenager than before. He rolled his eyes at me, explaining, "Nope. I won't allow it. You two are older now with raging hormones, and what if you two---"
"LALALLALALAA!" I ran over to Nick's arms while covering my ears. I glared up at Kevin before stating, "I don't have any problems with my 'raging hormones.'" I used the air quotes properly with a small smirk, "Plus, you shouldn't be worrying about /me./ Nick has those 'raging hormones'."
I laughed as Nick glared down at me as he squeezed me gently in his arms. I stuck my tongue out at him as he looked up at Kevin and explained, "Kevin, you know me. I wouldn't do anything. Manda and /I/ are older now; we know what's right and wrong." Nick nodded to try and attempt to confirm his statement, flickering his eyes at me for support as I nodded with him.
"Plus, we haven't seen each other in months," I muttered loudly - enough for Kevin to hear anyway. "Please, Kevin?" I pouted my lower lip at him, trying to put on my best puppy dog eyes as he stood there idly.
Kevin sighed, bobbing his head the slightest as he thought silently. Nick nudged me with a small smile on his lips, hope in his eyes as I bit my lip to suppress my laugh. Kevin sighed again, but there was a more defeated tone within as I felt a smile tug at my lips. He opened his mouth to speak, "No."
"Kevinnnnnnnnnnn," I whined, glaring up at him.
"What are you guys arguing about?" Danielle slid open the bedroom door, her eyes a bit tired from - what I'm guessing to be - the flight. Her eyes moved from Kevin to Nick to me, her eyebrows raising the slightest in confusion. "Kevin," Danielle walked over to him, winking at us for a moment before looking up into Kev's eyes, her hands trailed to his waist, "Come on, Kevin. We were young...er once. They've shared a bed before, what's the difference here?" She shrugged smally, "I'm tired, and I miss you. Come to bed, please."
"Okay, fine," Kevin sighed and kissed her cheek. I felt a small smile spread across my face before I stopped myself and forced a pouty face. Kevin smiled over at us, "But it's still a no. Come on, Dani." He ushered her into the bedroom, giving us a smug look as I sent him death glares until the door slid closed.
"Kevin's so STUPID," I said loud enough for him to hear.
"I heard that!"
"You were supposed to!" I yelled back bitterly before sighing into Nick's shoulder.
He rubbed my back soothingly, his lips brushed against my hair as he murmured, "I don't have raging hormones."
"Sure you don't, Rockstar," I laughed weakly, looking up at him.
"I mean it, you two! Nick get in the extra bed now!" Kevin called from the bedroom, his voice too loud and clear even with the door between us.
I rolled my eyes and called back bitterly, "Fine, DAD!" I stuck my tongue out at the door even though I knew he couldn't see and turned to press my lips to Nick's cheek as he slid off my bed, "I love you. Good night."
"I lover and love you, Manda," Nick gently brushed his lips against mine. I couldn't breathe. My breath caught in my throat as he pulled away. He chuckled lightly and smiled brilliantly at me before repeating. Again. And again. And---
"NOW!"
"I hate him," I muttered; Nick's face was only centimeters apart before he sighed, his sweet breath washed against my face before he pulled away, a small groan caught in his throat as he turned to the bedroom door and glared at it for a moment. I laughed, "He can't see."
"See what?!" Kevin yelled.
"See your mom!" I retorted back with an eye roll as Nick laughed.
"Good night, Manda," Nick said loud enough that Kevin would hear, "I'm sorry about my RAGING HORMONES."
"No problem, Nick, because I apparently have RAGING HORMONES too," I said between laughs before saying quietly to Nick as he climbed into the bed across from me, "I love you, Nicholas."
"I love /you/, Manda," he whispered back. His entire body faced towards me as he smiled weakly. I was about to close the blinds, but Nick's voice stopped me, "Wait, Manda." I paused, dropping my fingers off the curtain slowly as I raised an eyebrow questioningly. He sighed weakly, his eyes dropping from his gaze on me for only a moment before they rose to look at me again, a more softer tone beneath as he reached his arm towards me. I don't know how I was supposed to react, but my arm just instinctively pulled towards him until our fingers intertwined. A sudden warmth pulsed throughout my body as Nick smiled weakly, "I really missed you. Everything about you seemed too far away, so distant, but now," he squeezed my hand lightly, "I know that you weren't just a dream. I love you, Manda."
"I love you, Nick," I whispered, my voice barely audible. I didn't want to let go. Ever. His fingers traced against my hand until I felt my eyes feel too heavy. I could barely keep them open enough to see his face until I could see him clearly.
In my dreams.
"Nick!" I cried out, my eyes jolting open as I sat up too quickly. A sheen of sweat coated my body as my hands slid around me, looking for him in the darkness as I panted loudly, my body not really taking in any oxygen as I now felt tears brimming my eyes. What is wrong with me?
The curtain seperating me from the rest of the world flew open as a pair of arms wrapped around me. A bit of oxygen seemed to go down into my lungs as I took a small breath. "Manda? Manda? Are you okay?" Nick's frantic voice somewhat soothed me as he whispered in my ear. He somehow pulled me onto his lap. "It's okay, Manda," he whispered. "What happened?"
"I...I had a dream," I breathed, my voice barely audible, "That you left me." The scene still ran vividly through my memory as I blinked and tears escaped my eyes.
Nick wiped them away with the sleeve of his long sleeve henley before tightly holding me, "I won't ever leave you, Manda. It was just a nightmare. I'm here now," he cooed in my ear, "I'll always be here. I love you." He pressed his lips to my shoulder.
I nodded weakly, feeling my heart stutter the slightest before Nick murmured, "I'll stay here, Manda. Here," he slid me off of his lap as he scooted towards the very edge of the bed. He laid me down before he laid next to me, his arm draped over my waist, "I'm going to stay."
I couldn't fathom the double meaning in his words. My mind not really registering them at all, but I nodded and whispered, "I love you, Nick." A small sigh escaped my lips until my eyes just closed. I couldn't tell if it was because of exhaustion or because I wanted to be in my own thoughts. My memory automatically displaying my dream in my vision, replaying it almost too vividly.
Nick was leaving me there alone in my dream. My tear streaked face was etched into my mind, and it would seem like what you would expect from what I had told Nick.
But I left a single detail out.
Standing directly behind me was the guy. A mask concealing his face as he wore exactly what he had worn the night that I had seen him. His hand lightly placed over my shoulder, and there was a sudden warmth to his touch, but I could barely feel it. My eyes only set on Nick's leaving figure.
Yeah, I dreamed about the guy that I had met during that one night at the dance.
How stupid can I be? He didn't even attempt to talk to me again.
But for some reason, I kept wanting to grasp onto him. The idea of him seemed too perfect, too surreal, but I couldn't stop myself.
Gah. I can't do this. I'm with Nick.
What triggered this stupid dream?
Was it because I was still insecure that Nick would leave me?
I couldn't even answer my internal questions before I felt myself being moved on my bed until my face was against something hard and my arms were wrapped around something warm. I blinked, opening my eyes to find myself face to face with Nicholas, his eyes closed as his soft breaths brushed against my face. I smiled, feeling as though my heart would burst as he whispered softly, "I love you, Manda."
No, no he wouldn't.
. . . . .
"NICK! MANDA!"
I jolted away, my eyes flying open as my head hit the ceiling of the bed. "Gah," I winced, silently cursing my carelessness. "Ow..."
"Are you okay?" Nick shot up, hitting his own head in the process as he cringed, "Gahh." His arms wrapped around me though as Kevin's hand pulled back the curtain on the bed, his head poking in as his eyes fumed.
Dang it.
"What did I tell you two last night?" Kevin glared, scolding us as he paced back and forth across the tourbus' limited space. I pulled my knees towards me as I sat on the other side of the tour bus from Nick who was seated in the booth as I sighed towards him, leaning on the leather couch with another sigh. "I said no sharing beds, and look what you do, you share beds. Why--"
"We didn't do anything," Nick muttered under his breath, but it was loud enough that Kevin could hear.
Kevin glared in his direction, "Yes, yes. Sure." He paced again, shaking his head as Danielle emerged from the bathroom. Her eyes rolling as she sat next to me, obviously not so fond of Kevin's fatherly side too much, but she had the faintest smile on her lips - which made me roll my eyes. "But when I tell you guys something, I want you guys to follow through next time."
"Okay," I nodded, "The only reason why we did it was because I had a bad dream, and I couldn't sleep again without him, okay?" Yeah, sure, he probably won't live it down, but as long as he doesn't go all 'father' on me again...
"That's a good reason," Danielle nodded for support, her eyes fixating on Kevin, trying to persuade him whatever was on his mind.
He sighed defeatedly at her before shaking his head. I made a face as Kevin turned the other way as Nick chuckled weakly. Kev whipped his head around, ceasing any noise to come out of Nick as I bit my lip to suppress my laughter. "Fine. Fine. Fine. You two aren't grounded - partly because I'm not your parent.. But you two better be careful. I'm keeping my eyes on both of you." He narrowed his eyes at the both of us as I straightened my shoulders, giving him a reassuring smile. "Especially you, Nick," Kevin added, giving his brother a longer glare, "I think you know why."
"Not really," Nick muttered under his breath as I laughed, shutting my mouth when I did.
Danielle stood up and stopped Kevin before he could argue with Nick any more, "Come on, Kevin. Let's go in the venue." She patted his chest sweetly before adding behind her shoulder to Nick and me, "Remember to hurry up; you don't want to get caught with any of your fans." She smiled at us before pushing Kevin towards the doors.
I sighed, waiting for the doors to close. As the two of them closed the doors, Nick rushed over towards me swiftly and scooped me up in his arms as I gasped quietly. I barely blinked, and I was already slightly lightheaded, face to face with him. "Warn me next time," I suggested.
"Not a chance," he smirked crookedly before leaning down and kissing me.
Stupid, Rockstar.
Stop being so dang sweet;
I love it.
I laughed on stage as I read the sign out on the back row, the lights nearly burned my eyes when I looked up there, but it was so worth it. "Yes, Nick is such a klutz." Obviously, this person actually watched the Ellen show as I tried to stifle my laughter as I dragged my mic stand over to the runway. I leaned down to touch a few hands as a stage hand ran over and handed me my guitar. I smiled graciously before pulling the guitar strap over my head as he ran off. I smiled back at my band before turning to my mic, the screams deafening almost, but it was something that I felt like it was similar to air. I took it in for a moment before saying into the mic, "You know, I never would have thought I would be up here standing infront of you all. I would write these songs and go to these concerts, just.. wishing, dreaming, and now I am here." I sighed with a smile, "But it's almost coming to an end. This is going to be my last concert on this tour in the US, so I hope you guys don't mind if I change things up a bit." I smiled as the crowd erupted in another chorus of screams. "Okay, time for the polaroid camera," I whispered low under my breath to my secret mic on my ear. In just moments - not enough time for the members of the audience to notice, the same stage hand came out with my handy dandy camera. A few screams were heard as I placed it in my hands. I raised an eyebrow, wondering until I asked, "Can you all hold your signs?" I waited as posters popped out of no where it seemed, and I noted a parent holding up their young kid. I nearly laughed out loud, but instead I took a few steps back and took a picture. Sure enough, those a polaroid shot out of the camera as I took it in my hands and shook it in my hands before placing it on the ground infront of the mic stand. "So, have you guys ever heard of Colbie Callait?"
I laughed weakly as the crowd screamed in a response, "That's good because then you guys will sing along right?" Smiling, I grabbed my guitar, looking back at my band to smile before playing the familiar chords. Screams seemed to echo throughout the crowd as they started to recognize the song before I spoke into the mic, "It's crazy how long and hard your heart can break, and then it mends perfectly back together again once you fall in love." Screams crescendoed until it really hit me; these people do care..
"Who did you fall in love with?" Someone yelled towards the stage.
The words were clear as day even with the loud noises, but I pretended not to hear - something I had to learn in this industry. I looked down at my guitar for a moment, just retaining my thoughts until I sang, "I don't know, but I think I may be falling for you, dropping so quickly. Maybe I should keep this to myself, waiting 'till I know you better. I am trying not to tell you, but I want to. I'm scared of what you say, so I'm hiding what I'm feeling but I'm tired of holding this inside my head."
"I've been spending all my time, just thinking 'bout you. I don't know what to do; I think I'm falling for you. I've been waiting all my life, and now I found you. I don't know what to do; I think I'm falling for you. I'm falling for you." So naturally, I smiled, my mind just thinking about Nick, his face in my mind as his voice seemed to sing in my ear. "Sing along if you know it," I looked towards the audience, now hearing the on beat clapping as I smiled, "As I'm standing here, and you hold my hand, pull me towards you, and we start to dance. All around us, I see nobody. Here in silence, it's just you and me."
"And I'm trying," someone sang behind me, "Not to tell you, but I want to. I'm scared of what you say, so I'm hiding what I'm feeling, but I'm tired of holding this inside my head." I turned around as the crowd laughed loudly, and I nearly had a heart attack.
Juliet and her band had apparently gotten back on stage, but that wasn't the reason why I started laughing my head off at the sight of them. No, no, no. Infact, Juliet had apparently found a curly haired wig and cut in then placed it on her head as she wore clothes that looked similar to Nick's-plaid-casual style. With her, Juliet's bass and guitar player had straightened and curled up their hair to resemble Joe and Kevin as they strutted off towards the runway next to me. Behind them, Juliet's backup singers and drummer ran behind them with 'Jonas Brothers, MARRY ME' on their t-shirts and fake wigs, pretending to be Jonai fanatics as they 'chased' towards 'the Jonas Brothers'.
I had to laugh into my hand as the music stopped, and Nolan had to take over for me. I ran over to my friends and hugged them all. "You suck," I laughed to Juliet as she put on her 'serious' face to portray Nick. "Everyone give it up for Primrose!" I said into my mic before high-fiving 'Joe' and 'Kevin'.
"I've been spending all my time just thinking 'bout you. I don't know what to do; I think I'm falling for you," we all sang as I tried not to laugh any more, "I've been waiting all my life, and now I found you. I don't know what to do; I think I'm falling for you."
"Primrose as the Jonas Brothers," I gestured to the band as they walked off stage. Juliet waved before running backstage as the crowd laughed and screamed. I smiled while walking over to the beginning of the runway before whispering to my secret mic, "Tell Nick to standby." I smiled before handing my guitar to a stage hand that was carrying my mic stand and polaroid away, "Thanks." I took a long, deep breath before putting the mic to my lips while walking towards the runway, "Wow, you guys are probably one of the loudest cities I've been to." That statement only made them scream even louder which made me laugh, "Like I had said earlier, this is probably not the same concert that you've probably seen on youtube. In fact," I looked back at the stage as Kiri nodded smally. I turned back to the audience, "I want you guys to meet my best friend." Shrieks and screams erupted in the audience as I heard a few people scream his name. "But I don't know; you guys don't seem /too/ excited for him...." I shrugged with a small smile as the noise seemed to accelerate and get crazy loud. "Hm..." I pretended to think before shrugging, "Maybe you guys are ready. Only one way to find out... come on out!" I said turning towards the backstage door as screams erupted once again in the crowd.
Nick emerged out of the side of the stage - aka the backstage area- as the crowd seemed to sound too deafening. A spotlight followed him as he carried his guitar over to the runway, a broad smile on his face as he and I hugged, causing about hundreds of cameras to snap. I attempted to keep myself from smiling too much and controlling my heartrate to a normal pace.
Failure.
"Hello, Chicago," Nick said into the mic in his ear, "Are you having a great time?" If the audience could get any louder, well, they just did.
I grinned widely before giving a small frown to the audience, "How many of you have had your heart broken before in your life?" I raised my own hand, scanning the audience as hands throughout the entire stadium. I looked to my side, and Nick's own hand was raised as he frowned at his thoughts before I nudged him with my elbow, "Well, this song if for you, and the love you'll have... after the storm." I smiled weakly before nodding towards Nick, a faint smile on his lips when he turned to me before he strummed his guitar.
I swear, the crowd only seemed to get louder and louder until it seemed to just be a ringing in my ears and the volume of the sound just seemed irrelevant. It was just Nick and me. Oh, and about thousands of people in one stadium.
"I know this isn't what I wanted; I never thought it'd come this far," I sang into the mic, the words seemed to puncture at my heart as my mind related each word to my memory. I closed my eyes, and I could see it all so clearly, my heart hammered in my chest as those familliar pangs hit me, "Just thinking back to where we started, and how we lost all that we are."
"We were young and times were easy," Nick sang, turning his head towards me as I turned to him, my eyes almost in near tears as I felt the memories flooding my emotions and mind. One heartbreak seemed to hurt like a billion and one, and the memories just seemed to vivid that I almost wanted to break down like all those nights before. "I'm standing here, but you don't see me. I'd give it all for that to change. I don't want to lose her; I don't wanna let her go." Nick locked his eyes with mine for a moment as I shook my head.
"I'm standing out in the rain; I need to know if its over 'cause I will leave you alone," my mind flashed to the storm in Canada, and the one that seemed to carry over to my home. And the storm that seemed to always be above my head.
"Flooded with all this pain, knowing that I'll never hold her like I did before the storm," Nick closed his eyes only for a moment, not losing a beat in his guitar playing before he looked up at the audience, scanning each face until he looked over at me, "With every strike of lightning."
"Comes a memory that lasts," I breathed, wiping a tear that fell from my eye.
"And all the words are left unspoken," we both sang, our eyes locking together as we altered the words a little bit, "As the thunder starts to crash."
I stepped forward, my fingers running through my hair as I sang, "Maybe I should give up." I flipped my hair before singing, "Standing out in the rain, need to know if it's over 'cause I will leave you alone."
"Flooded with all this pain," Nick followed me with a step, "Knowing that I'll never hold her like I did before the storm." I smiled weakly at him through my teary eyes.
"Trying to keep the lights from going out," my eyes looked up to the lights shining up on me before I closed my eyes, and Nick joined along to sing, "and the clouds from ripping out my broken heart. We always say a heart is not whole without the one who gets you through the storm." I took a deep breath as my voice seemed to dim to barely make noise, "Standing out in the rain, knowing that it's really over - please don't leave me alone."
"Flooded with all this pain, knowing that I'll never hold you like I did before the storm," Nick and I harmonized as the song nearly ended. My heart nearly open to the entire world now as I felt my eyes close, the emotions flooding over me as the last notes played. Taking a deep breath as I wiped my tears, I opened my eyes to see the crowd their mouths moving in sync until my ears picked up a single word being chanted over and over again.
"Nanda, Nanda, Nanda, Nanda," The word was echoed all over as cameras rose up to record the event. I nearly felt my heart burst at that point. From singing a song that flooded me with those emotions again to hearing our celebrity couple name being chanted in a filled stadium with fourteen thousand people. It was surreal to say the least.
I looked over at Nick to see his reaction, not able to fathom my own. His eyes were fixated on me intensely, but to the naked eye, you wouldn't see the tears that were in his eyes. I nearly gave away our secret right then and there, but I forced myself to control every fiber of my being and just give him a hug, slyly brushing my fingers on his face to let the tears remain a secret for him. I pulled away, mouthing 'I love you' to him as I kept my hand on his shoulder. He smiled uncontrollably widely, mouthing the same to me before stepping away from me and waving his hand over to me, gesturing towards me as he said to the crowd, "Manda, everyone." The crowd basically absorbed each moment, watching us both intently as they reacted with screaming and yelling.
I waved and curtsied a tiny bit before waving my own hand to Nick, "Nick Jonas!" I laughed as he awkwardly bowed. He stuck his tongue out at me as I stuck my tongue out at him. I turned to my secret mic, "Two stools please." I smiled back at the audience as another few stage hands carried the two stools toward us before setting them behind us. I thanked them as they went back stage and followed Nick's example and sat down. I smiled at the fans standing and holding their hands out, so I touched them softly, not wanting to slap them or something awful like that. "Now," I smiled over at Nick who was readjusting his guitar on his lap, "When your heart is broken, crumbled to pieces, and you don't think that you'll ever get your head out of the water;" I paused for a moment, "You will find love again. Because when you love someone then they break your heart, don't give up on love...."
"Have faith restart!" a group of girls in the back yelled loudly, enough to make them seem like about a hundred girls when there were only about ten or so.
Nick and I laughed before Nick nodded, "Exactly, so this song is for that love that will find its way to you."
I nodded at Nick and brought the mic near my lips, "Before I fall..."
"Too fast.
Kiss me quick,
but make it last,
so I can see how badly this will hurt me
when we say goodbye.
Keep it sweet,
keep it slow
let the future pass,
and don't let it go
'Cause tonight I could
fall to soon under this beautiful
moonlight.
But you're so hypnotizing
you've got me laughing while I sing;
you've got me smiling in my sleep,
and I can see this unraveling.
Your love is where I'm falling,
but please don't catch me."
I looked over at Nick, smiling widely as he closed his eyes - getting so into the music once again. But his eyes opened momentarily, he flashed me a smile with a small wink before singing, "See this heart..
"Won't settle down
like a child running scared from a clown.
I'm terrified of what you do
My stomach screams jut when I look at you.
Run far away,
so I can breathe
even though you're far
from soffocating me
I can't set my hopes too high
'cause every hello ends with a goodbye."
"But you're so hypnotizing," Nick and I harmonized as I smiled, "You've got me laughing while I sing; you've got me smiling in my sleep. And I can see this unraveling your love is where I'm falling, but please don't catch me."
"So now you see," I turned to Nick for a moment as I closed my eyes and sang, surprised to say the least when I saw the masked guy in my mind. I opened my eyes rapidly, "why I'm scared. I can't open up my heart without a care, but here I go; it's what I feel, and for the first time in my life I know it's for real. But you're so hynotizing. You've got be laughing while I sing; you've got me smiling in my sleep."
"And I can see this unraveling. Your love is where I'm falling so please don't catch me," I sang as my band behind me finally went all out in the epiphany of the song, "If this is love please don't break me."
"I'm giving up, so just," I smiled unvoluntarily, "catch me."
"Whoo!" I said as I ran backstage and collapsed on the nearest couch. Fortunately, Nick was sitting on it already and my head landed on his lap as he smiled down at me. I sighed before Kevin ran over, my camera zooming in on my face as he carried it.
"So what are you feeling now? This was your last concert in the US," Kevin moved the camera around like a hyper little child as I sighed again, catching the routine towel that Scott tossed to me.
I wiped my forehead before saying to the camera in a very pathetic voice, "I wish we were playing another show tomorrow." I frowned slightly before Nick took my hand and squeezed it encouragingly. I smiled at him before turning back to the camera, "But, UK, here I come." I fist pumped the air with my free hand before sinking back to my exhausted self.
"Amazing show, love," Nick said sincerely to me, his smile nearly lighting my dull mood. That is, until he leaned down to lightly press his lips to mine. The sun would look dim compared to my now brightened mood.
Kevin put my camera back in my bag before saying, "Come on, Manda. Time for your meet and greet."
"Yess," I sat up, making sure that I didn't hit Nick in the head once again before jumping off the couch, "My last meet and greet until I get to hear those awesome British accents." I ran over to my departing band mates, "See you guys next month!" They laughed and said something in their horrible rendition of British accents before leaving the backstage area and off to their tour bus again. I smiled and ran over to Nick who was still sitting on the couch. I leaned down and kissed his cheek, "The rest of the year is ours."
He reached and grabbed my hand, "Of course. Whatever you want, Manda." He grinned before loosening his grip on me to shrug off his plaid shirt, "But do me a favor, wear this. You'll get cold over at the meet and greet."
I rolled my eyes, but complied and pulled the shirt over my dress before lightly kissing his cheek, "I'll see you later, Nicholas." I smiled back at him as I ran over to Kevin's father-like stare and pushed him out the door. "Come on, Kevin. Don't need to be a nosy father now..."
"Yeah, yeah, yeah," Kevin muttered under his breath, "You'll miss me."
"Don't worry, Kev," I laughed as we turned into another hallway, "I have my own father to worry about now."
"Hi! What's your name?" I asked to the next girl, actually, I should have asked the other girls with her because they all said their names at the same time anyway, obviously they were together. "Whoa, one name at a time please," I laughed jokingly.
"Julia."
"Sierra."
"Sarah."
"Katie!"
"Brooke!"
"Veeeee!"
"Sara."
"AAAAAND HUNTERRR!"
"Psh, Manda, you don't recognize us. That's pretty sad," a familiar face and voice muttered loudly as she turned to the other girl behind her, "Maybe we shouldn't be here.."
"Emma! Mandy!" I squeaked and ran over to them to hug them. Luckily, they were the last of the line, so it didn't look like I was just hugging some random fans. "What are you guys doing here?"
Mandy scoffed, "Pshhh. We wouldn't miss your last concert in the US. We were going to wait backstage, but these guys made us join their cult or something."
"It's not a cult!" the girl that was named Sarah narrowed her eyes, "It's a lifestyle."
I laughed before giving them all a hug, "Well, thank you all for coming." I gave them all a once over before my head clicked, "Oh! You guys were the one that got that whole 'Hold On' reference I made. The people that screamed the next lyrics?" Maybe I was just hallucinating.
"YESS! SHE HEARD US!" they all seemed to yell in unison before high-fiving everyone in sight.
Katie added with a smirk, "We also started the 'Nanda' chant." Emma and Mandy nodded to confirm the statement as I laughed weakly. They seemed a bit like they had been drinking dozens of Red Bulls every day of their lives.
"Actually," Sierra stepped forward, her fingers wound around something, "We wanted to ask if you would join this 'cult'." She turned to Mandy for the word which made me giggle. Sierra reached over and held out a small bracelet with the words 'The Rad 12.'
"The Rad 12?" I read outloud with a question mark over my head.
"Actually," Julia shrugged smally before explaining, "The name was much, much longer, but.. it didn't fit on the bracelet." She and the rest of the group sighed as I blinked.
For some reason, I wasn't weirded out at all. I know a few or more people that would have ran there in that instant, but they seemed genuine underneath all of that excess energy. I shrugged to myself before saying, "Sure." I took the bracelet from Sierra and pulled it up my wrist, "So, in this 'cult', what am I supposed to do?"
"You just need to be rad," Brooke nodded as she explained.
I laughed before looking down at the new bracelet, tracing the words 'Rad Twelve' with my finger before scrunching my eyebrows, looking up at the group. "Wait," I recounted in my head, "There are only eleven of us now...?"
"Oh, no, we have an international follower!" Hunter added enthusiastically.
Vee squeaked, "She's in the UK, and she said that she was going to try and sneak into your soundcheck..." Her mouth closed and a few hands slapped it shut as they glared at her for blowing her secret.
I laughed, shaking my head, "That's okay. She doesn't have to sneak in; I usually let people into my soundchecks."
"We know," Sara nodded, "Katie got in while we were all still on a plane." She glared over in Katie's direction as the others followed.
"Oh!" I said, having another brainblast, "You were the one with the poster. Katie Day!"
"YESS! SHE REMEMBERED!" Katie yelled loudly as she fist pumped the air.
Hunter shook her head and punched Katie in the arm lightly before turning to me, "But the girl in the UK is named Chelsie. She was planning to hide under your tour bus or something, so look out for her.."
I nodded as I laughed, "Okay, okay." My body guard, Mike, turned to me, giving me the signal that I needed to leave. I nodded with a sigh, "Sorry, guys, I have to go, but you guys come to another concert soon, okay?" I gave them all a hug and turned to Mandy and Emma, "I'm guessing you guys are headed off to L.A. with Kev and Danielle?"
Emma nodded, "Yup, Denise asked us to join them for Thanksgiving since two of the important family members have decided not to come..." She rolled her eyes teasingly before adding, "Have a great Thanksgiving, Manda! Bye! CALL MEEEE!"
I laughed as I waved at the group and Mike and Mark flanked me once again back to my tour bus. I sighed with every step, "I'm going to miss my favorite bodyguards."
"We'll miss you too, Manda," Mark laughed, low and husky, "But we'll be back with you in the UK. Saving you from some fish and chips." He nodded seriously as I laughed.
. . . . .
"Bye, Kevin! Bye, Danielle!" I waved them off as the tour bus doors closed. As they left, I yelled, "Come on, Darren. Let's leave before Kevin has another change of plans." I rolled my eyes before the bus slid forward, "Thank you!"
Before I could take another breath, a pair of arms scooped me up. I blinked and I was centimeters away from his perfect face, his breath washed against my skin as I raised an eyebrow. He smiled brightly at me before spinning me around like a little girl, "Kevin's gone!" He stopped before leaning down to feriously press his lips to mine. I was lost now. My hands reached up to grab his curly head of hair as he tightened his grip on me.
I nearly had to pry him off of me to catch my breath. My panting a sign of my lack of oxygen as he didn't spend any time to waste, carrying me off to the bedroom. He set me down on the bed gently as I laughed, "Now, Nicholas, we're not going to do anything, okay?" I gave him a look as he climbed onto bed next to me. I raised an eyebrow with a small giggle.
He pulled me closer to him, his arms around my waist tightly as my head laid on his shoulder. He kissed my forehead, "Don't worry, Manda. I can control myself."
"Yes. An eighteen year old guy with 'raging hormones' controlling himself," I mused to myself with a laugh.
He chuckled, rocking me a bit with him before he pressed his lips to my hair, "I won't do anything, Manda." He smiled crookedly at me before placing his finger under my chin and bringing my face towards him, "Besides this..." Nick kissed my forehead, "Or this.." He lightly kissed my cheek. "Most definitely this," he leaned down and pressed his lips to mine again, locking them as my breath caught in my throat and my heart hammered against his chest as he pulled me closer to him.
"I'm watching you,
I'm watching you,
I'm watching you."
I pulled away, looking up at the repetative, familiar voice that came from my phone that was resting on the bedside table. I sighed, giving Nick a raised eyebrow before crawling over to the table and with a groan pressed the phone to my ear, "What is it, Kevin?"
"I'm watching you," he stated, mirroring the new ringtone that he had probably given to me when I was on stage. I rolled my eyes while pressing the speaker phone button and setting it on the bed between Nick and me. "I'm watching you and Nick too."
"Uh huh, you're like a hawk with your watching," I muttered before pressing the 'END' button on my outdated cell phone and tossing the phone on the bedside table with rolling eyes. "Stupid, Kevin."
Nick pulled my arm until he could reach my waist towards him. His head rested on my shoulder as he whispered, "Hey, don't forget me. What happened to my 'stupid, rockstar'?" He half-grinned as I laughed. "How could I forget /you/?" I rolled my eyes with a smile, "Stupid, Rockstar."

What dream? I don't recall any of that.
I only remember you.
I love you.

manda.